introducing my project
When I was six-years-old, I was gifted my first computer. It was one of those mini Acer ones, in a dusty blue; I was obsessed with it. The World Wide Web was an abyss to me; it was the medium that would answer any and all of the questions that arose as a figment of my imagination. Somewhere on my digital footprint, the earliest search history associated with my name would list:
WORLD’S BEST COLLEGES
Princeton, was the best…and the closest… to my childhood home.
I learned about the value of money sitting next to my recovering dad on our worn-in leather sofas. There, he would lay out each metal—a penny, a nickel, a dime, a quarter—and we would add them up in different combinations; he’d quiz me too, and ask me to grab a “lucky nickel” to use to chip away at his scratch-off ticket. However what I learned about coins and money casually through my dad wasn’t enough to perceptualize what Princeton’s tuition actually surmounted to: $48,000. This was beyond my capacity with numbers. And when I told my mom that I wanted to go to one of these surreal colleges but that it seemed to be too much money, my mom reassured me instead: “Don’t worry about the money, Vikki. You just aim for the stars, and Mommy and Daddy will worry about the rest.” And so, I was given the reigns of my education.
∙∙∙
No, my parents didn’t go to college; no, they didn’t have the money saved to afford something like that; my mom singlehandedly supported our growing family while my dad was in recovery. What they did have, was resilience. And yes, from Kindergarten (and for as long as I can remember), my only childhood dream was to receive a college diploma–from one of the most prestigious universities there are. But now that that childhood dream is coming to a close, I have found myself stripped of my identity. My whole life, that was what I put my all into. Amid striving for the one thing that everyone in my immediate and extended family bet their odds on me to do, I hadn’t thought much about what comes after.
These past few months, I have been desperate for some kind of direction, one that is as pulling as the seemingly innate goal that would fuel me for this first quarter of my life. Now, 22 and uprooting myself from Ann Arbor to go back home, I feel like I am facing my very own quarter-life crisis: Who do I want to be (in this next stage of my life)? What does it mean to be uninspired? Is there something wrong with me for not knowing what I want to work towards next? Am I being lazy or thinking too much? Will I always feel this way now that I am truly “adulting”? How do I stop overthinking and just learn to enjoy the process? Will I ever be able to? ∙
∙∙∙
When I settled on my Capstone project theme, I hadn’t realized this would be such a daunting project to approach. I had purposefully kept it “out-of-sight-out-of-mind” many times throughout the semester, in fear of reassessing my whole life, and my identity. But as I have gone through this semester “thinking like a writer” for this Capstone project, I now realize that I have bettered myself in the interim; that I have gathered the wisdom and courage to say that: No, I don’t know what I am doing. And I don’t think anyone is ever really ready for change. But I have faith in myself—in my capacity to love and learn—even if it takes baby steps to get there.
And for all of you who don’t think that’s enough…No, I don’t have a job lined up. But I have a roof over my head and a loving mom hug to come home to. I’ve got to learn all of our family’s recipes before I can’t. And I’ve got a sister going into her senior year of high school; I want to give her the courage to reach beyond her bounds, and a pick-me-up when the mean girls in school get on her back. I’ve got a Dad to motivate to get off the couch and in the gym, and to spend Saturday afternoon’s sharing brunch at his beloved diner. And I have a small fluffy white dog I promised to keep company in her last couple of years.
While the next stage of my life is unwritten, I’m at ease knowing that I’ve found my way back home, that I am loved and have the capacity to love likewise.
her memoir.
it's nice to meet you!
Hi there! I am Vasiliki (Vikki) Amourgianos, and I'm a senior in my last semester here at the University of Michigan. I am double majoring in Biopsychology, Cognition and Neuroscience, and Modern Greek with a Minor in Writing. I worked as an Undergraduate Research Assistant at Michigan Medicine at the Chronic Pain and Fatigue Research Center studying nociplasitc pain in neuroimaging techniques and generalized hypersensitivity for 2+ years. I'm also a Peer Writing Consultant at the Sweetland Writing Center, and I wrote columns for the Michigan Daily Opinion Column in Winter 2023. Throughout undergrad, I've worked as an ice cream scooper at Washtenaw Dairy.
I am originally from New Jersey, but both of my parents were from Greece. By the end of 2025, I will have moved back home to NJ, and will be preparing for medical school amid a career change. My current goal is to get into medical school, then to actually get my MD, then to become a pediatric neurologist... but that could change...
but really...
I am someone who has always valued their education; I have always strived for the next best accomplishment that I could reach for. Sometimes, I feel prideful, but I’m really just hungry to achieve the next thing that no one in my family has done before. I’ve always thrived from positive reinforcement. Sometimes I go overboard and become obsessed with perfection—I’ve learned that this leads me to my demise, burnout. I’ve always been an attached child. I never liked to sleep away from home; and when I went to college, I was extremely lonely and felt unseen. I love finding playfulness in all of the seriousness. And I encourage everyone that is close to me, to just lead with their hearts, which is their passion and goodness. I’ve always identified with my Greek identity, but since I went abroad, I haven’t been as excited to be Greek. I am almost always uneasy in the present, and distract myself with work and achievements. But even when I have gotten those achievements, to my immediate family, I feel misunderstood. I feel as though I have drifted away from home, orphaned from my working class parents who try and understand academia, but I find that it is a difficult translation gap. I am scared of time, but look towards the extent of the delayed gratification. I’m incredibly stubborn, and incredibly in love. I think nothing is out of reach and chose to stay oblivious to the negativity around us.
her prologue.
thank you's <3
My Mommy & Daddy (and Evva)
For everything; you guys are literally the reason I breath, I think the way I do, and the reason why I have such an abundant outlook on life. I owe everything to you guys, and I give you so much grace for all of the sacrifices you both have made to make sure that I have a boundless education, but also that I respect hard work and value commitment. And Evva, of course, you are my best friend. When I grow up I hope to have half the confidence and grace that you do. I admire you. I love you all.
Graciella & Camila
Thank you guys for giving my work as much attention as your own; for putting your heart into my own work, and helping me find myself in the process. You both are two of the most selfless people I know. Thank you for growing with me throughout this semester and for being a listening ear. I admire all of your work this semester & your projects are lovely!
Yianni & Family
A big thank you to Yianni for supporting me through every up and down--when I feel like I'm on top of the world you embrace it; and when I feel like the world is crashing down on me, you give me the strength to build myself back up. Most importantly, you love me. And thank you to your family, for taking me in and giving me a loving home away from home. You all have a special place in my heart.
Prof. Julie Babcock
Thank you, Julie, for approaching each lesson with positivity and a contagious energy that made us look at the passing of time with a "glass full" mindset. You have been such an uplifting presence and it has been a priviledge to be in your class. I appreciate your attentiveness to each and every one of our projects, but also equipping us with the confidence to share our work, no matter how far along or how open we were to do so. You enabled us to dig deep and share our stories.
My family at the Dairy
The Dairy has been as much a part of my college experience as has the university itself. It reminded me not to forget about that childlike wonder I possess deep down, and gave me a purpose as a community member in Ann Arbor beyond academia. Thank you, Monique and Mrs. Mary for always treating me with care and respect; to my loving group of coworkers, I adore each and every one of you. I will miss you all!
Professor Jeremiah Chamberlain
Thank you, Professor Chamberlain for pushing me to challenge myself in an unfamiliar genre; but a genre that I would grow to resonate with. I can always lean on you for extra insight and inspiration, leading me to help me find the missing piece of the puzzle to get me out of my writer's block. I respect you and admire your teaching!
